Sacred Complaining Is Alchemy
There is a difference between gossip, searching to exploit, as opposed to talking things through with someone you trust, to explore, dis-cover, and even discard what is not true or useful and discover what is contributive about a situation, a relationship, or what to do next.
You can feel the difference in your body.
When you or someone else is gossiping for some kind of profit, of one-up-man-ship, or getting the goods on someone or anything like that it feels lascivious, invasive, icky.
Sure, sometimes you pretend it isn’t that, but you do know that’s what you’re doing, “deep down.”
Sacred Complaining is something entirely other than that.
Sacred Complaining is when you have a beef, pent up emotions, knee jerk reactions and you just need to spit it out, instead of repressing and judging yourself for whatever it is.
When your intention is greater awareness and perspective, it is supportive, generative and kind, even through the snarky bits.
Body’s get snarky. The kindest thing to do is to be curious what it’s trying to communicate to you, and listen. Talking with someone who is also listening openheartedly, with actual curiosity (open mindedness) is powerful alchemy; transformational.
Here’s an example.
I had a lot of emotional pain, anxiety, opinions, conclusions about me, others, life and what was possible.
My housemate at the time said nothing to me to betray any animosity and yet, she also said nothing to quell my sense of animosity coming from her. Like a good politician, she would neither confirm or deny her active dislike and judgement of me.
I did everything I knew how to do, energetically, but my body/personality could not let go of it all.
So, I phoned a friend.
I told her that I did not need advice, or an evaluation of the fairness or anything else. What I needed was to speak my truth, no matter how petty and childish, and to be heard and acknowledged. Not judged for my being defensive and judgmental of my housemate but acknowledged that how I said I felt was how it felt — that it made sense that I’d be angry, defensive, frustrated and hurt. “Natural and appropriate to the terrain,” I’d say.
My friend is a very astute, energetically aware professional person as well. She knew what I was talking about because we’d done this before, where she was the one doing the complaining,
I talk, ranted, defended, cussed (very therapeutic) and all around complained me head off, and got all my emotions out. Within it all, in it’s own time, I asked who does this belong to and returned returned to sender with consciousness and cleared. I heard what my body was saying, and replied, did clearings, and actually participated with what was going on in my head, going on for me at that time. The old stuff processed organically the very energy that had been coming up to process/heal/release morphed into such generative insights and spaciousness.
The next encounter with the woman in the house was amazing by its total absence of drama.
I wouldn’t swear to her experience but what I noticed for me was that I didn’t really care/mind one way or another what she thought of me, or what stories she had of me in her head, or if she had no stories of me at all. That was totally up to her, and none of it meant anything to or about me.
All the knots and bindings were vanished. They just weren’t there anymore.
Now, I will say that as time when on, we did have more “moments,” but none of them every stuck, or seemed as solid and “real” as before the Sacred Complaining session.
Truth is you already know more than the story of you allows for, and all that you know is way beyond what your analyzer head has read in books and mimicked from other people.
What you Know will hold you up, and support you in Ease, every day.
Sacred Complaining can help you get to that awareness, and live from there, every day.
